Locked in a repetitive dance -- The song we know by heart -- Ditching our moldy oldies -- What a great dance looks like -- Identifying barriers to bonding -- The dance of the avoider -- The dance of the pleaser -- The dance of the vacillator -- The dance of chaos: the controller and the victim -- When imprints collide -- The vacillator marries the avoider -- The pleaser marries the vacillator -- The controller marries the victim -- The avoider marries the pleaser -- Other challenging combinations -- First steps -- Awareness -- Engaging -- Communicating and validating -- Resolution and relief -- Your relationship's perfect song.